Kranzilla Presents...


THIRTY-SIX HILARIOUS
(AND A FEW DIRTY)
COMEDY MAGIC AND MENTALISM GAGS,
BITS, JOKES and EFFECTS!!!




Adults Only




WARNING
While several of these routines are suitable for children, many are NOT. There are routines for everyone. Everything from great effects and gags for kid shows that are magical and funny...to shooting a party popper out of your ass and dialing a cell phone with your dick.

You have been warned.




These routines and gags were created by performing for real people in restaurants, bars, elementary schools, private parties, keggers, bonfires, comedy clubs, colleges, corporate events, theaters, trade shows, brothels, bar mitzvahs and after dinner engagements.

These routines are very customizable. I'll give you the basic gag so you can take the idea and go any direction you'd like. In this way you will add your own personality and in doing so we will all have something unique.

Most of these effects and gags were designed for stand up performances but many can be performed close up and play just as well.

Table of Contents

COMEDY FOR EVERYONE
Big Hand Gag
The Clap
One More Hand
Too Many Cards
The Cards Farted
Shuffle Off
Frisbee Gag
Handful Of Balls
Cellophane Gag
Billfold Bluff
Recycling Machine
Bad Breath Gag
Coin To Dove
Balloon To HUH?
Air-horn Sneeze
Fire Wallet Opener
Lint Roller Gag
A Parting Gift

COMEDY FOR THOSE MENTAL
Tips On The Classic "NO" Gag
Ahhh Shit. Book Test
Vowel Movement
Riffle Giggle
The Virginia Revelation
Left Field Prediction
Lotto Mind Reading Opener

COMEDY FOR ADULTS
The Dick Trick
Thanks for Watching. I'm Drunk.
Smoke Ass
Ass Popper
Peace, Love And Magic
Cell Phone Interruption
Dick Dialing

*ALL MARKETING AND TV PERFORMING RIGHTS RESERVED. Unless written consent is given by the Nathan Kranzo.

What follows is a small sample from the booklet...

One for the kids.
Air Horn Sneeze
This is great for any audience but especially kids. The gag is when I blow my nose it sounds like an air horn. I've used this for years and it’s very simple. I walk over to my case and reach in pulling out a large handkerchief. I know lean over the case and blow my noise over the case. My left hand holds the handkerchief over my face as my right hand (hidden from view) hits the air horn. You can have the horn either inside the case or behind it. They actually make small pocket size air horns so you can do it without the aid of your case. Just stand there and blow your nose with one hand while the other hand is in your pocket hitting the horn. I experimented with actually placing the horn inside the handkerchief but it’s way too loud. Not good to have it that close to your face. This can be used as a running gag and the kids will GO NUTS every time you do it. It actually gets funnier every time. I don't know why it just does.
Why its funny
A LOUD bodily function! Kids LOVE this one. The noise is unexpected and absurd. It's just funny.

One for the corporate or after dinner event.
Fire Wallet Opener
This is a standard prop that you can get at pretty much any magic shop. Chances are there will be several models.

Here is how I used it as an opener at corporate and after dinner events for years. I would find out the name of the CEO, President, Vice President or someone high up in the company or organization. I write that name on the back of my business card and place it inside the wallet.

The bit looks like this. You say that before you begin your show the host wanted you to make an announcement. Apparently someone dropped or lost a wallet near the lobby of the hotel. You open it, “Maybe there's some identification...Did anybody look?”. You then hit the flint or trigger the wallet giving you a big flame. Slam the wallet shut. With that you pull out the card and recite the name “BOB SMITH” or whoever the CEO is. Everyone will laugh. He is a guy everyone knows and they'll laugh just at the thought that you have his wallet. Then you can clumsily take some money out of the wallet and stuff it in your pocket saying, “huh, looks like he's broke...”.

The last time I performed this bit it was for a company appreciation event put on by the owner of several Applebee's restaurants. So I did the standard fire wallet bit I just described and after I said his name I then followed it up with another joke, “Oh look, there's some coupons...tucked in here...BUY ONE appetizer get the second FREE at...Applebee’s. Wow...you know how to stretch a buck my man...”

Of course this gag can be applied to almost any company or industry.
Why its funny
The fire wallet has always gotten a great response because it involves a wallet and/or money which everyone is interested in. When you open it and there is fire people will often gasp audibly. People like fire. Its very unexpected, visual and magical. Its a great effect.

The simple act of using the President or CEO's name is an easy way to create a shared experience early on in the show. Everyone there will know who you are talking about and they will laugh a little louder to let you know it.

You get an extra laugh when you apparently unload the guy for all his cash as you casually put it in your pocket. The coupon bit is funny because in my example the guy was a millionaire. They don't usually carry coupons for appetizers. Especially for the restaurant they own. : )

For adults only
Ass Popper
You take one of those famous party poppers and place it into your mouth. You pull the string POP and the confetti shoots out your ass!

I've tried several ways to do this and trust me I've thought of every way. Here is the simplest. Have one tied to your belt loop and another in your pocket. You openly place one in your mouth and they are unaware of the other tied to your belt loop. I tie mine on the loop that is on my left side on my back. If I put my hands on my hips and turn slightly to the audience this hand is blocked from view and can be used to pull the popper. You'll also want to bend over slightly to add to the visual of you actually shooting confetti from your mouth out your ass.

Here is the secret for the one in your mouth. Take EVERYTHING out of it. The confetti string, igniting powder/cap etc. and then you can replace JUST the string leaving it hanging out so it appears normal. Time it so that when you pull the string in your mouth you're actually pulling the string on your back at the same time. DON'T EVER SHOOT ONE IN YOUR MOUTH FOR REAL!

Another one of my favorite solutions is the electronic version that I will sometimes use. It’s a very simple servo motor that pulls the popper string causing it to shoot. It’s about the size of a deck of cards, and attaches to your belt. My friend Sean Bogunia made this for me but I am afraid of it. There is a video of me test riding it here. It’s not perfect but you'll get the idea. Just scroll down and click on the video titled BUM POPPER. http://www.facebook.com/MidwestMagicJubilee

You can get the party poppers pretty much at any party supply store. Or try here: www.orientaltrading.com

Lint Roller Gag
I performed this two times a night for a week at the Magic Castle last time I worked the parlor. Every time I did this bit it got a huge laugh. It doesn't make a lot of sense and that’s beginning to be one of my favorite traits to a good gag. : )
"Pardon me, this has been bothering me all day....". Roll up your sleeve and with a very serious face unzip your fly and pull out a lint roller. “Been lookin' all over for that thing,” you mumble under your breath and begin to roll/clean your suit and entire body.
Why its funny
Unexpected and Absurd once again! The lint roller is something that is sort of iconic now too. Plus I like the fact that I actually get to freshen up my suit during my act! I think the fact the item pulled from the fly actually functions and serves a purpose is funnier than if you were to offer someone a shoe or a small frying pan. Although that is still funny. If the item has a function and you can use it quickly for an extra visual bit that extends the gag thats great!

One for everybody
A Parting Gift
This is a gag I use with a helper on stage. The idea is to give a volunteer a free gift as he or she leaves the stage. “Here is a free tape of the show!!! Thanks for helping...(long pause)... well...not a tape of MY show but it looks like it’s a pretty cool show... they were in the dollar bin at Target...” I say this as I hand him a cheap DVD that I really bought at the dollar bin at Target.
Why its funny
They assume you are talking about YOUR show. So when you display a DVD thats not yours this becomes the first moment of humor. Also the fact that you obviously did not put much time, thought or money into the gift is funny.

Then it becomes funnier when you reveal the title. You can also refer to the title for an additional joke. If It was a particular iconic, or classic movie. Or maybe it has funny title that people might recognize like Brokeback Mountain etc.

You can also add to the humor if the DVD obviously does NOT match the person. Like giving a collection of Hitchcock films to a small 5 year old boy. Or give “The Best of Gansta' Rap DVD Collection” to an elderly lady.




****I have just shared with you ONLY FIVE of the THIRTY SIX gags and effects from this new work! There really are a TON of great comedy bits and routines included that I've worked out in the clubs the last few years of my life. Its been a lot of trial and error....but a lot of fun. I hope you enjoyed reading the sampler and hope you liked it so much you'll want to read the rest of it.

If I GAVE these GREAT BITS away for FREE....imagine what awesomeness is waiting for you?

Later,

Kranzilla